Alexandria Campaign on Adolescent Pregnancy
Home > Teens > Relationships
Other languages: Lea esta página en Español

Relationships

Updated on 10/4/2010 02:26:08 PM


Healthy vs. Unhealthy Relationships

1. You Think About Your Partner All the Time
Thinking about your partner all the time may become unhealthy. This will become unhealthy when thinking about your partner conflicts with your daily activities or the way you normally function. It always important to remember you come before your partner, caring for yourself enables you to care for them.
2. You're only going out with the person because you don't want to be alone
Going out with someone based on your insecurity of being alone is very unhealthy. It is unhealthy not only for you, but also unhealthy for the person you are with. Your fear of being alone will not be fulfilled by your partner. This is unfair to both you and the person you are with. Going out with someone should be based on common interest and the ability to be compatible, not because of insecurities you may have.
3. One person usually decides what you do as a couple
What's important here is how both people feel about this arrangement. Some people maybe fine with this but others my be unhappy or feel like their ideas do not matter in the relationship. Sharing decisions on what to do and where to go can be challenging and fun. It gives you an opportunity to learn more about your partner's interest and qualities and learn more about yourself as well.
4. You have different interests in music, sports and other activities
Having different interests is very healthy for a relationship. When you have diverse interests you are able to learn unique things about one another. Have a variety of interests enable both people in the relationship to become more open minded to others' preferences. This does not mean that having many common interests is negative, this just allows you to explore activities that you may not have tried before.
5. You see each other before, during, and after school everyday
At this stage of your life, you should have other activities besides being with your girlfriend/boyfriend. Seeing each other this often is a sign of an unhealthy relationship. You should keep in mind that the activities after school such as clubs, sports or a job, will help to better your future while your partner may not always be a part of your future.
6. You still keep in touch with your old boy/girlfriend and your partner doesn't know it
Keeping in touch with your old boyfriend/girlfriend is perfectly ok. You should never dedicate all your time and energy to one person. Having an old boyfriend/girlfriend still there as a friend is a great thing! However, you should feel comfortable telling your partner, but not discussing it is not a crime. You are entitled to your personal feelings and business and everything little thing does not have to be discussed in the relationship with your partner.
7. Your partner only hits you once in a while and always apologizes afterwards
This is very unhealthy. There is absolutely no excuse for your partner to abuse you. Whether there is an apology afterward or not, hitting you is not appropriate or healthy in a relationship. Healthy relationships are free from physical, emotional, mental, and sexual abuse. If you are being hit by your partner or no of someone who is please call 703-838-4911 for further advice immediately."
8. You are engaging in sexual activity with your partner
Whether you are mature enough to completely understand the risk of engaging in sexual activity may determine whether this is a healthy relationship or not. Engaging in sexual activity can put you at risk for pregnancy, a sexually-transmitted disease, or HIV/AIDS. These are risks that will affect the way you live your entire life. If you're able to talk to your partner about the risks of pregnancy, getting tested for STD's, protecting yourselves, and what to do if any of these situations occurred, then you may be mature enough to engage in sexual activity. However, the healthiest relationship with your partner may be choosing abstinence, or not engaging in any sexual activity at all. This decision then eliminates all possible risks.
9. You share different opinions which usually leads to intense discussions
Having different opinions is ok in a healthy relationship. However, if differing opinions lead to arguments or any type of abuse, this is no longer a healthy relationship. When you have a difference of opinion, although you may never reach an agreement, you should still respect each other's point of view. When arguing or abuse occurs, that line is crossed and respect for one another's opinions is no longer there. A healthy relationship must show respect for one another and your views.
10. Your partner is affectionate with you in private but not around their friends
In a healthy relationship, you both need to respect each others' boundaries. Having a discussion about your boundaries for showing affection in private and in public will help you both become more comfortable about them. By discussing boundaries, each partner will be able to understand the other's limits and respect them in a healthy relationship. If you cannot respect each other's boundaries, then you may be in an unhealthy relationship.

What is Abstinence?

Abstinence means choosing not to do something. The only 100% effective way to prevent a pregnancy is to abstain from sexual intercourse!

Why Choose Abstinence?

Postponing sex allows you to...

  • Get to know your partner better
  • Develop trust and closeness in a relationship
  • Find creative and fun ways to express affection
  • Protect yourself against sexually transmitted diseases or an unplanned pregnancy
  • Focus on your goals and other areas of interest

Abstinence is a good idea if you are...

  • Not ready
  • Not mature
  • Not prepared
  • Not informed about the consequences
  • Confused
  • Scared
  • Waiting until marriage
  • Don't love the person
  • Didn't communicate with your partner
  • You just don't feel like having sex!

Is it Too Late?

It is never too late to practice abstinence even if you've already had sex! People choose to have sex and not to have sex for many reasons. When you make the choice to abstain, know what you are abstaining from...sexual intercourse or all sexual activity such as kissing and touching. Overall, what's most important is making your decision and knowing why you've made the choice to abstain.

Tips...

  • Be clear with others about your decision — "Alex, I want to let you know up front that I don't go beyond kissing."
  • Surround yourself with people who will support your decision
  • Don't participate in activities that may compromise your decision.
    (Drinking alcohol, doing drugs, going to unchaperoned parties.)

21 Things to Do For Fun

  1. See That New Movie
  2. Play Video Games
  3. Play Laser Tag...Couple vs.Couple
  4. It's So Nice Outside....Go To The Park
  5. Does S/He Have the Radio On... Call In That Love Dedication
  6. Throwback Game Night.... Operation, Monopoly, Sorry!
  7. Gather Up That Birthday/Holiday or Just Because $$$ and Go Shopping
  8. Show Your Spirit...Hit the Stands and Support Your Sport
  9. What's the Rec Center Doing....Amusement Park Maybe?
  10. Create Art Together
  11. Design A "Just Us" Webpage
  1. Enjoy Go-Cart Racing
  2. Roll Up Your Sleeves and Cook Up Something Special
  3. Collect His/Her Favorite Songs and Put It on the IPOD As A Special Gift From You
  4. Call Your Friends....UNO, Spades, Tunk, Go-Fish Anyone?
  5. Pick A Theme...Select A Few DVD's....Popcorn + Candy
  6. Take Pictures and Share with Your Friends
  7. Organize a Scavenger Hunt with Your Friends
  8. Go into DC and Visit New Places
  9. Check Out A Play
  10. Go Bowling

There's More Than 1 Way To Say "NO" To Sex! Try...

  • I'm Not Ready
  • I Don't Love You
  • I Don't Want to Get a Disease
  • I'm Waiting Until I Get Married
  • Let's Do Something Else
  • No Daddy's Over Here!
  • Let's Kiss Instead
  • I'm Not Feelin' You
  • Let's Not
  • What's the Rush?
  • Let's Wait A While
  • I Don't Want to Get Pregnant
  • I Don't Go With You
  • Time To Go
  • My Parents Won't Like That
  • Let's Talk About This
  • I’m Too Young
  • Why?
  • It's Not Happening
  • I Don't Like You Like That
  • You Got The Wrong One
  • No Sir...No Sir
  • I Don't Mess with Rolla's
  • Not Interested
  • Wrong Agenda!
  • I Don't Do That
  • We're Just Friends
  • Not Yet
  • You're Not the Right Person
  • I Only Speak "Virgin"
  • It's Not in My "V" Plan
  • I'm Waiting For Love
  • What About A Hug
  • I Don’t Know You That Well
  • I Don't Want To
  • I'm Practicing Abstinence
  • I'm Busy
  • When the Time Is Right
  • Let's Take It Slow
  • I Like My Shape Just the Way It Is!
  • I Can't Afford A Baby
  • My Parents Wouldn't Approve
  • I Love You but I Love Me More
  • I Have Goals I Want to Accomplish
  • I'll Let You Know When I'm Ready
  • You're Knockin' On the Wrong Door
  • That's Against My Religious Beliefs
  • A Stroller Doesn’t Go with This Outfit
  • I’m Not Trying to Deal with The Consequences
  • Did You Wake Up and Screw Your Head On This Morning?
  • You're Not Ready For Commitment